


Letting Down Walls

by acciosnapes



Category: Negans Army, The Walking Dead, Twd - Fandom
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe, F/M, Fluff, Gentle, Help, Kissing, Love, Mean Girls, Mentions of Rape, Nurturing, Pet Names, Romance, Self Harm, The Sanctuary, Walkers, Zombie Apocalypse, body issues, mental health, plus size reader, saviors, soft, taking care of you
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-12
Updated: 2019-02-12
Packaged: 2019-10-26 15:45:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17748737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciosnapes/pseuds/acciosnapes
Summary: You’ve been a savior for Negan for quite some time. He’s always wanted to get to know you, but high walls, frustration, and a hot temper keep you from letting him in. All he wants to do is know you, all he wants to do is help quiet your mind. But the big question isn’t if he will, it’s if you’ll let him.[  MAY be a series, for now it’s just a one shot!]





	Letting Down Walls

Stone cold heart with a resting bitch face and hands nobody would want to catch fire under. Head always hung high with every arrogant step that was taken, lips pursed tightly into a sneer. 

The most feared of all saviors, and it was you. Barely even seventeen, you kept your walls high and your gun always unlocked, ready for anyone who dared try and test you. 

“So...when will I get that date?” 

The meeting with Negan and his closest advisors had come to an end, and an asshole named Jackie had been flirting up a storm with you for months now. He leaned up against the wall with crossed arms and an arrogant smirk you would have loved to smack off his face. 

“You, like, do know there’s a zombie apocalypse going on outside, right? Like where the fuck were you gonna take me? Chili’s? Grow up, Jackie. I don’t want to go on a date with you.” You spat out fire, syllables bursting with bitterness. Your anger was too blinding to you that you couldn’t hear the snicker Negan gave off from the other side of the room. 

“Hey calm the fuck down, bitch. I wasn’t talking about some damn bar. I want to fuck your brains out.” 

“Go fuck yourself.” You growled. 

Jackie grabbed you wrist tightly. So tight you could feel his pulse against your skin from his fingers, red hot aggravation burning into your body. Jackie pressed his lips to yours, but you tried to push him away. The blonde headed bitch wouldn’t budge. 

“Hey!” Negans voice must have dropped three octaves deeper, the way it always did when he got pissed off beyond belief. His leather gloves were tightening around the base of Lucille, his feet shuffling heavily as he stomped his way towards Jackie who was now pressed against you. “Hey!” He screamed again.

“Get off of me!” 

Negan grabbed the collar of his shirt, effortlessly tugging him away from you with one move of his arm. Jackie finally realized what he had done, cowering on the floor as he shook with childish fear. “I got a few fuckin’ rules around this bitch. Might’ve escaped your damn notice, but raping is one of them. In fact, it’s number fuckin’ one on the god damn fuckin’ list, fucker!” He roared, and the room went silent. 

You watched helplessly as Negans jaw clenched so tightly his forehead and neck bulged with veins, nostrils flaring as his eyes darkened. The cigarette that dangled from his lips was so close to falling he had to push it back up with his shaking hand. 

Negan raised Lucille up to smash the guys head in, before you stopped his movements. “Wait! No!” 

Both of them looked at you, Negans eyebrows furrowing in angry confusion, and Jackie’s eyes flashing with relief. “Thank you! Oh God, (F/n), I’ll never do it a-”

“No, no. Shut the fuck up. I want to do it, Negan. I want to.” You whispered, and Negans face dropped from aggravation to that charming, suave arrogance he wore so often. 

“It’s my damn pleasure, doll.” 

He handed Lucille to you, your hands wrapped around the base of the bat, and a smile twitched at your lips. This would be sweet. Sweet, sweet revenge. Revenge for all the times he tried to push himself against you. Revenge for how uncomfortable he used to make you. Revenge for all the fucking dates he asked to go on. 

You raised the bat high in the air and brought it down, eyes wide with excitement as your lips twitched into a sickening smile. Jackie cried out, hobbling once, twice, before falling down from his knees. You raised the bat once more, slamming it back down against his head. Then again. Then again. Before it no longer looked like a head. Now it just looked like a puddle of blood and flesh. 

Negan laughed, leaning back as he grabbed Lucille. “Look at my dirty girl!” He turned, looking at he group of Saviors. “Let this fuckin’ incident be a reminder for two little things. Don’t fuckin’ mess with little miss (f/n), and don’t try to fuckin’ rape women. That shit will not slide as long as I’m leader of this fine fuckin’ establishment. Everybody’s free to go. Somebody bring Fat Joey in here to clean up this god damn mess.” Negan snapped, turning to you. “And you? You’re coming with me.” 

Clenching your jaw tightly, your eyes narrowed. “No.” You snarled, fists clenching. 

“No fuckin’ lip, darlin’. You’re fuckin’ comin’ with me. Now.” He snarled, grabbing your bicep gently as he pulled you away. 

“You’ve always been distant. Hell, I get it. You’re fairly new here, I know what that feels like, honey.” Negan leaned across from you at the table in his room, still shuffling the cards. You stared at the glass of whiskey he had offered you, licking your lips slowly. 

“I don’t need you talking to me like that, Negan. You’re not my fucking daddy.” 

An animalistic snicker left his lips, and he rolled his eyes. “Shh, justin listen to your daddy.” He teased with a flash of humor brightening his eyes. You looked down, scoffing softly. “You’ve been here for almost a year and a fuckin’ half though. You don’t got any pals and shit, haven’t slept around.” You shot him a glare and he helen his hands up. “Not that I’m a fuckin’ hater or whatever. I’m just sayin...I know there’s something wrong with you. Theres a reason you gotta be a bitch.” 

The sound of him snickering st his comment fueled the anger rising inside of you, and you angrily slapped the glass of whiskey off the table. It fell onto the floor, the glass shattering. “It’s none of your fucking business, Nean!” 

“Well I’m makin’ it my fuckin’ business!” Neganmatched your anger as he stood up abruptly, his chair falling behind him. “Now what’s your fuckin’ problem.” 

“I don’t have a fucking problem.” You taunted, crossing your arms and rolling your eyes bitterly. 

“Oh yes you do.” Negan growled deeply, eyes narrowing. “And you’re gonna tell me why you’re such a bi-”

“Because bitchy girls don’t get raped, okay?! Bitchy girls don’t get cornered in an alley and killed! Bitchy girls survive, Negan! Bitchy...bitchy girls don’t get preyed on. They don’t die. They don’t...nothing ever-they’re safe. B-Because everyone’s scared of them.” Your bottom lip was shaking at the outburst of emotion that flooded you, tears pouring from your eyes. 

“What happened?” Negan whispered, eyebrows furrowing. His face was full of concern now, his eyes showing sympathy unknown to you. 

“She was so nice, you know? My best friend in the entire fucking world. Her laugh made flowers grow. Eyes brighter than the sun on the fucking ocean. A good Christian girl, her boyfriend was a linebacker for our football team. It was only a week before this fucking shit broke lose. We were on our way home from the movies, walking to her moms car. One second she was with me, the next she was-she was just gone. I tried to find her, tried to find the trail of those men that-that took her. And put her through that shit.” 

“They raped her. They mutilated her. They murdered her. When the police found her body she didn’t even...she didn’t even look like the Emma I knew. She was bloody and broken and that’s when I knew.” 

Your bottom lip quivered with anger, sadness coursing it’s way through your veins. You were teriffied after that point, scared you’d end up with the same fate she was forced to succumb too. “I knew I could never, ever be nice. Because nice girls get killed. Nice girls get taken advatage if. And I never wanted myself to go through that. Ever.” 

Negan was staring at you, face contorted with concentration. His elbows were on the table, chin resting on his hand, with his lips pursed together tightly and eyes full of grief. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, I really am.” 

“Yeah well...shit happens, I guess.” You sniffled, wiping off your cheeks with the sweaty palm of your hand. 

“No. That ain’t fuckin’ right. Shit doesn’t have to fuckin’ happen, you know.” Negans jaw was clenched now, and when he reached to grab your hand, you flinched gently. “I won’t let any of the shit happen to you, youbknow that right?”

Your eyes met his and you gave one nod of your head, silence engulfing you. 

Negan’s thumb gently brushed across your knuckles before he stood up, clearing his throat. 

“You know what always cheers me up?” He walked to a record played leaning against the wall, a Sinatra vinyl beginning to slowly play. 

You shrugged. 

“Music.” 

A smile played on your lips when he reached his hand out for you to take, gently biting his lip as he helped you out of your chair. 

“Is that right?” You teased, gently grasping his hand as you stood. 

“Damn straight, darlin’.” 

Negan cradled you tightly against his chest, one hand against the back of your head as his other was wrapped tightly around your smaller one. Your free hand rested against his chest, where your head gently rested against it as well. 

“I have got you, deep in the heart of me.” Negan teasingly sing, eyes closing in pure bliss when he heard your soft giggle. 

You stepped on his feet, warranting a humorous “ow” from his mouth. 

Negan has managed to calm you down, his lips pressed to your ear as he leaned down quite a ways, not minding as he held you close and tight. 

“(F/n)?” 

“Hmm?” 

“You mean a whole fuckin’ lot to me.” 

“Whaddya mean?” You whispered, furrowing your eyebrows. 

“Ever since you first got him. Your wit, your god damn cleverness. Everything about you. Body, face, eyes-”

“I’m not that attractive.” 

Immediately, Negan pulled away from you, face scrunching up with anger. “Excuse me?” 

You looked down, shuffling nervously. “I’m not pretty, Negan. Especially for you.” 

“Hey, shut the fuck up, why don’t you? You’re a fuckin’ goddess. You know my bitch wives?” You scoffed and rolled your eyes, nodding. “Yeah, they’re fuckin’ haha compared to you. Don’t you fuckin’ come at me with that bullshit again.” 

“Yeah, fine.” You snapped bitterly. 

Negan sighed, frowning a bit. “Look, I’m sorry for getting angry.” He whispered, and you knew he meant it. 

His hand wrapped back around yours and he pulled you closer into his arms, the same position you two were in. 

“So my walls didn’t work?” You muttered as he placed a kiss on top of you head. 

Negan tilted your chin up with his finger, furrowing his eyebrows with a small smile. “Not on me, they didn’t.” 

“Why not?” Your voices were quiet, barely above a whisper.

“Because I know who you are. And I know how alike we really fuckin’ are.” Negans hands were gentle on your sides, a genuine smile playing on his lips.

You nodded slowly, a little blush cascading down your face. “You’re broken too. I can tell. Nobody names a damn baseball bat.” You grinned, and Negan let out a breathless chuckle.

“My wife.”

“I figured.”

“My real one.”

His eyes became glossed over and you frowned, biting down on your lip gently. “How?”

“Cancer. Happened before all this.”

“Least she didn’t have to see it.”

“I remind myself that every day. How fuckin’ blessed she was, not see all this shit. My Lucille wasn’t strong enough. But you know what?”

“What?”

“You’re the best damned thing to come out of all this. The only fuckin’ girl who’s actually made me feel soemthin’. I thought that if I fucked enough girls, if I came enough,” he let’s out a breathless snicker, but it was sad, too. “Then maybe I’d forget about her. But she never left my mind. Not until you. Not until you showed up. You-”

You leaned up and pressed your lips against his, eyes closing tightly as you kissed him with want. As you kissed him with need. As you kissed him with love.

When you pulled away, Negan had a love sick grin plastered to his lips, which made you let out a soft laugh.

“Guess I really am deep in the heart of you.”


End file.
